Egg and the Beast
by ZombieOverlord23
Summary: Poking fun at some parts of the twilight saga...
1. Chapter 1

_**WARNING!**_

 _I fully Acknowledge that I'm not the creator or writer of twilight. thank you, *polite bow._

 _if you are a twilight fan you probs shouldn't read this, on the other hand if you're not, read on..._

 _ **Jacob was always attracted, but after all, it's what's on the inside that really counts.** _

It was a normal day, well as normal as any day could be for, Jacob White. He was on his way to visit his best friend, Bella Pigeon and her filthy blood-sucking partner, Edward Codfish. Jacob has been attracted to Bella ever since they were kids. But unfortunately, like every other girl at Spoons high school, she fell for the hottie vamp, Edward Codfish.

Once Jacob got to the Codfishes house, he imminently went in search for Bella. But _like always_ , he had to go through the Codfish family to get to her. He was all to used to the odd stares, especially when it came to Rosalie. Rosalie hated Jacob the most and he knew for certain the feeling was mutual. As he was passing Rose in the hallway, she lifted her nose and once again complained about his wet dog smell, and _like always_ he ignored her.

"I'd say take a shower but it will only make it worse, mutt." Said Rosalie.

"Take a tip, Blondie. Keep your mouth shut unless you want to lose it." Replied Jacob.

"Now, now calm down everyone. There is no need for that Rosalie. Jacob is a guest, like any other." Carlisle, once again the voice of reason.

Then, The light of his life walked into the room and like always illuminated the room, shortly followed by by the blood sucker of a husband, Edward. _God I hate him_ Jacob was thinking to himself. _why, why did she fall for him, I love his more than that blood sucker ever has!_ Jacob was constantly beating himself up for letting Bella slip through her fingers.

"Hey Bells, how are you?. Edward."

"Hey, Jacob, I'm good, how have you been?"

"Welcome Jacob always nice to see you." Edward said smiling towards Jacob.

"Wish i could say the same fang face. I've been good, not as good as I can hope for though..." Jacob replied mockingly at Edward and replying to Bella.

"Jake, please don't do this here, not now..." Bella said pleading with Jacob.

"Jacob, can we not go though all this again, please." Edward said butting in.

 **More soons :D hoped you enjoyed for nowses, Meow ^_^**


	2. Chapter 2

Stepping outside Jacob could catch his breath.

 _"Why do we bother trying to be 'nice' to him! his kind has killed ours-" Rosalie was screaming._

 _"Rosalie we have also killed his kind, we will be nice to him regardless of our history!" Carlisle Said a bit more force in his voice than he though was necessary._

"Guess that they don't know I can hear them..." Jacob said under his voice

Jacob spun around thinking there was danger, But no, It was just Bella.

"Hey, I though we could go for a walk?"

"Sure, Beats being here right?"

"Jake don't be like that, Come on let's go for that walk, OK?"

"so how have you been?" Bella asked trying to break the obvious tension building up around them.

"do you _really_ want me to answer that bells?" Jacob replied a little more cocky than he intended. they walked together, just kicking up leaves as they went, Bella was collecting some, sticks or leaves or something Jacob didn't know about.

After walking in the woods for ten or so minutes, it was getting quite dark so Bella said her good-byes to Jacob and went back to the codfishes house. Jacob was still wandering through the woods when he hear some thing weird in the distance.

*Thump Thump Thump

Jacob stood high waiting for the incoming threat to come closer, closer...closer... NOW! Jacob pounced on the unsuspecting charter, only to find that the "threat" was just Seth Dirtyriver.

"Seth! What are you doing here!" Jacob screamed at Seth.

Seth slowly backed down and away from Jacob.

"S-sorry Jake, I just came to tell you Sam wants you back at the house now."

If there was anyone that Jacob could possible hate more that Edward it was Sam Hooly-Duley, He was the leader of Jacob and Seth's pack, Seth's sister was also in the pack.

"Fine. Whatever let's go." Jake sighed in disgust. He was sick of doing everything that Sam told him too.

Jake and Seth wolfed out and ran back to Sam, It was late by the time they get there and Sam was pissed.

"Jacob! I told you that you weren't allowed to go see Bela today we were busy doing pack things and what did you do ran off!"

"Yeah and? I've done everything that the pack has and I've been doing it better then them anyway."

"I'm sick of this you're no better then anyone else here! You're just a stupid little kid!"

Jake let out a growl, with that he charged at Sam transforming in the air. He managed to pin down Sam and scratch at the side of his face. Sam also wolfed. Now Jacob and Sam were fighting full blown, but Sam easily pinned down Jacob and was defeated. They both turned back to their human form.

"I'm sorry Jake. Just do as I say for once OK?"

"NEVER! I will never bow down to you! You're nothing to me, I'm leaving this pack!"

Sorry lovelys more soon... Meow ^_^. Thank you everyone who reads this. 3


End file.
